Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Anushka,

If you see your mother’s foundation, leave it ALONE.

I know, I know, it’s not easy to be different. But if you do pick up the foundation, you will inevitably try it on. Then you’ll want a little more. And then- okay. I’m getting ahead of ourselves. I’ll tell you about it a little later.

You’re a good kid; pretty smart, loyal and trustworthy. For a 1st grader, you’re pretty mature. You push in chairs, finish your homework and have never gone to the principal. Here's a quote from the book twilight, a book you will eventually read and love, “I was born 30 and get more middle-aged every year.” Can you relate?

Creekside Elementary is small, but still sweet. You know, with the green trees, flowers and creek, which was actually more of a stream. You never miss an opportunity to tell anyone that.

You’ve met some good friends; Emi, Marib and Yasmeen are quirky, funny and cool. You know that though.

Yet, inside of the school, there aren’t too many dark-skinned kids. In your calm part of Ohio, fair-skinned caucasians make up a majority of the community. Soon the whispers pile up.

She’s African, so she’s probably poor. It looks different and sort of strange. My Mom said that *whispers something hurtful*. Being Indian, you naturally have darker skin than most of your classmates. You realise it makes you stand out from them on picture day.

You should leave the foundation alone, because if you don’t, and you choose to pick it up, the temptation will be irresistible. Yet you do pick it up. In an impulsive moment, you grab a scoopful and smother all over you face. Then you make a mad dash for the bus.

“At last, I am the same as everyone else.”

With a big smile plastered on to your face, you greet your friends while passing down the colourful entrance.

One of them says, “Hey, Anushka.”

“Yeah?” Your friend gives and awkward smile.

“Uh, what’s on your face? Is it paint?” She says in reply, scrunching up her face. It takes a few seconds for that to sink in.

“What?” Your heart drops to your purple shoes. “Oh, uh I have a...um...gotta go.” You sprint to the bathroom scrub at your face until you get rid of most of the foundation.

“At last, I am the same as everyone else.”

You will spend weeks, months and years pondering over whether that is a good thing or not. But I’m not telling you to regret that, because you stopped worrying about skin color after that. You come to learn that differences are what make you special. I’m kind of proud that you’ll learn that so early.

Also, you know that cute kid, Jack? He’ll start looking at you soon...

As you grow, you become more of an ambivert, so less bubbly. Especially, after your big move, one that will change your life. You’ll have to find out where you’re going for yourself.

Moving forward to 3rd grade, your second year at your new school, you will get your feelings very hurt by someone’s opinion again. This is when you learn about peer pressure and “mean girls”. No, not the type that pulls your hair but the one that talks about you behind your back. While you leave for recess, you talk about a recent project.

“…and it took me forever!” You say. The girl you’re talking will roll her eyes, take out her ponytail

and swish it around in your face.

“No offense Anushka, but you’re really boring.” You freeze, because you will not be expecting that. You’ll try and say something, but nothing will be able to come out. She’ll just walk away, which’ll make it sting a bit more.

How do you make yourself less boring? The answer to that it you don’t. If she finds you boring, it’s her loss. You didn’t do anything wrong here, it will just be her way of putting you down. You will realise that too, because you know that you don’t need to “improve yourself”. It teaches you things.

Taken By Abinash Nayak

You will need to learn to be confident. Don’t let those comments reach you. You don’t have to change yourself for other people.

I know, these words make you feel helpless, but you don’t need to freeze when that happens. Speak up, because you are imperfect and flawed, and you are beautiful. Words from those around you don’t have to sting, as long as you remember that you perfect for yourself. That reminds me, you will join a dance in 7th grade with a pretty good song. You don’t have to try so hard.

There is a bunch of things that will happen and you may wish they never happened, but those “mistakes” helped shape me into who I am today. Learn from those things and rise, higher and higher to the top.

And say "hi" to the stars for me when you get there.

Love,

8th Grade Anushka